It’s so hard to show everyone that I’m doing fine without you when deep inside I’m not. It’s hard because I have to smile when I really can’t hold back my tears… because as far as I can see, you’re doing just fine without me. I feel like I’m so bipolar with my emotions lately… one minute I’m fine, the next minute I’m a mess. I keep trying to convince myself that I should be angry at you for letting me go, but it’s really just heart-crushing sadness. It’s like I’m not angry because we broke up, I’m sad because I can’t let you go. I’m happy because of the memories we made, but I’m sad because I can’t stop reliving them in my mind. I’m not angry at you for not loving me, I’m angry with me for still wishing you did. I’m not angry that I lost you, I’m sad because I once had you. I’m not angry that I can’t have you, I’m sad because I know what I’m missing. I’m not angry that you’ve moved on, I’m sad because I can’t. I’m not angry that you won’t come back, I’m sad because I keep hoping you will. I’m not angry because I feel like you gave up on us, I’m sad because I miss you more than words can describe, and I’m not willing to give up on the hope that someday you’ll want me back.
